I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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