Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
