worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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