I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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