what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
