Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
