So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Two words: nipple clamps
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