They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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