jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
3 2 1 whiskey
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
