Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
