Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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