distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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