so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
