'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
