i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
