everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
