I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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