New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
