No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
