The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
