The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
