Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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