We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
