She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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