wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm experimenting with sincerity
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
