I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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