Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
