I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
