Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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