i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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