i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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