Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
