That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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