i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
