Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
