hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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