finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
