"it" just moved
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
