I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
