I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
