her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
