I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
