can u get pink eye on your cock?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
