Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
