I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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