My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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