i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
