Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
