A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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