I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
