we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
