he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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