I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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