I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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