32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
