Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
